Disposable Marriage

Tonight, I had the privilege of attending a Father/Daughter Banquet. I ran into a man and his daughter that I’ve not seen for about 2 years. In the process of talking to him, he said something about his girlfriend. LOL – I don’t know if it was the look on my face or the quick glace I made toward his left hand – that gave it away, because he quickly added, “Oh, I guess you don’t know that I got rid of my wife! Yep, we’ve been divorced for about a year now”.

I just laughed nervously and told him I was sorry to hear that (I just didn’t know what to say since he seemed sooo happy about it). He laughed too and informed me that “getting rid of her was the best thing I’ve ever done.”

I just looked away and shook my head. I really felt so sad for his daughter. She is the same age as my precious Chloe. How sad it must be for her to hear her father speaking in such a callous way about marriage. Apparently, the wife/mother felt the same way about their marriage, as she has already remarried.

I know that I shelter myself a lot. I work so hard on my own marriage. I love my husband so much. I also honor the vow that I took before God. I know that God hates divorce… but I also know that we live in a culture that views marriage as disposable (and I guess they view God that way too!). When things start getting hard, it’s time to trash the one you have and get a new one. Isn’t that just sad?

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5 thoughts on “Disposable Marriage

  1. Yes, right in front of her. She didn’t bat an eye about it or look embarrassed, which tells me that, to her, this is just the norm! It truly broke my heart! I just wanted to give her a hug and tell her that marriage isn’t supposed to be like that ūüė¶

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  2. Sheesh, that is awful!

    My parents divorced when I was 16. My mother had an affair and got pregnant, so there was really no way for her and my dad to reconcile. With all the heartache and pain my mom caused, my dad never spoke ill of her, in fact he has always encouraged us kids to reconcile with her and forgive her. I have a great relationship with my mom today, and I believe it is because my dad always encouraged us to embrace Christ’s healing forgiveness and mercy. I hope that some day this man and his daughter realize that as well. I will be praying for them.

    -Kimbrah

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  3. I never talk about my kidís mother in front of them in a negative tone. That would hurt them deeply. They love her and rightfully so. But I too do have a girlfriend, and itís not because I ďgot rid of the wifeĒ. Getting a divorce was the worst thing Iíve done in my life. It has done untold damage to all of us. So what little this man said was definitely wrong and insensitive for him to say those things to you especially in front of one of his kids.

    But on the flip side, there is an untold story that he doesnít have the time to explain to every Christian he encounters. To accuse him of insensitivity, you are correct. To accuse him of having a disposable attitude towards marriage may be premature. Marital splits can be more complex that meets the eye.

    If anything, I know this man feels hurt. His making a joke of it tells me as much. Hurt, betrayed, and devastated are how I felt the day my wife took the kids and left. But again I am not excusing his choice of words. You are right about that.

    Here is a post I did highlighting the hurt of my failed Christian marriage. But it is not a rant about how bad my ex was. Itís a story about how I found Godís grace in the midst of it all.

    http://beopenandreadbyall.blogspot.com/2005/10/lord-of-wedding-rings.html

    And here is her response to me having a girlfriend now.
    [audio src="http://h1.ripway.com/benjaminandsarah/Thecallnoneames.mp3" /]

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  4. ?This child, who is only 4 years old, I have never met.? Yet this precious child has touched my heart.? The situation has also opened my eyes to more of the evil around me and in the hearts of others.

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